Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here.

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I love each other and get along great; the problem is her purse. She prefers to drive the car, and so she puts her bag on the floor of the passenger’s seat, where I am. I’m a big guy with big thighs, big glutes, wide hips—it’s surprisingly hard and a little painful for me to squeeze and twist enough to allow her access, and this frustrates both of us. There’s a lot of jamming, thumping, scraping, and squabbling as this bag goes up and down my left leg several times a day.

Then there’s the new bag. She made some good money and rightly rewarded herself with a designer bag she’s wanted since she was a girl. This thing means a lot to her, and I really want her to enjoy it, but it’s also big, rigid, and the hardware is sharp!

I’d normally deal with a problem like this by proposing a solution, but I just can’t think of one. She can (and sometimes does) twist around to put her bag on the floor behind her, but that area is usually occupied with things/kids/dogs. The center console is too tall and in the way. It’d be unsafe to keep the bag at her feet with the pedals. I suppose she could put it in the trunk, but this is her purse we’re talking about—it holds items she legit needs to keep at hand while driving! If I have to suck this up, I can. Women have had to hold their husbands’ shit for thousands of years. Is it unfair for me to be bothered? I just wish I could have my own personal space over here! It’s not like I’m manspreading into her area!

—Tell Us Where to Put It

Dear Tell us Where to Put It,

I love it when I get to share the news that a situation is not actually hopeless. Do a search for “headrest hooks for cars.” Buy some. Ask your wife to store her bag on one of them in the backseat. And as a gift for the next special occasion, get her a smaller bag—which might be called something like a “pouch,” “purse organizer,” or “bag insert” (if any special occasions are coming up, see if her fancy purse designer makes one!) and ask her if she’d put her phone, license, sunglasses, and chapstick or other neccesities in it up front.

Or you could drive, and she could keep her giant, sharp prized possession on her lap in the passenger seat. I know she prefers to be behind the wheel, but your comfort actually does matter, too. The fact that you were questioning whether it would be fair to tell her about your struggle and ask for a change makes me feel like you may need that reminder.

Classic Prudie

My husband, “Barry,” and I have been married for 23 years. We have four children. I thought we were happy until, about a year ago, Barry began picking fights with me. I finally convinced him to join me in marriage counseling. We saw “Dr. Mary” individually and as a couple…